It all felt like years!And I do feel sorry for not updating my blog anymore although I wanted to, but I can't. My routine or schedule somehow shifted to a very different one. And I gotta drag myself into still doing something that I usually do before. I turned out to be a nocturnal mammal now and I miss a lot of things that I do and love to do before. I am coping up, and somehow threatened(haha!). I still need to improve myself and have to aim for the best. My life right now is really different. I am now more pressured,more weary and I have to think quicker or decide in a shorter time and at the same time make sure that I'm making the right one. It just make you somehow weak when reality hits you and you were never prepared for it. Anyway, you just have to be armed of determination, grab as many inspirations as you can to motivate you and don't take it too personally. Always think, if you fail, it's not meant for you.

I reward myself by watching the latest movies, and the latest that I've seen was UP by Disney Pixar. Russell was so CUTE!And so was the whole story. It was just so touching and I felt sorry for the old man's life story. He has to grow old by himself and got so stuck with his house, never want to let go of his wife's memories. I had seen Gi JOe (Rise of the Cobra) too, but I was asleep half of the time(haha!). My cousin just drag me from sleep, I couldn't refuse and so I went even though I was damn tired that's why I fell asleep. I went out for the last day of the Kadayawan festival also, by the time pangit and I arrived at Gmall, Marian Rivera already left(haha!). I still have work later that night so I never really got to unwind myself out and the rain didn't cooperate that night. I arrived 1 hour late to work and soaking wet.

I miss my friends, they never text me for the mere reason I am using Globe and they are on Smart. Huh!(Bantay lang ang magpalibre,Joke!) Well, I think that's all for now and hopefully it wouldn't take that long anymore after I could post again or blog again.

Gotta cope up

Well, it seems I’m back here again after how many weeks. The new schedule of my life totally kept me somehow, not somehow, but really tired, but gotta keep surviving! Lots of news or happenings have ‘happened’ already and I wasn’t able to write some of it because I haven’t had the time yet. To start off, I finally learned how to ride a bike guys! Yes, for those who don’t know yet, I just learned how to ride a bike at 20 and the thing is I’m not still very good at it. I still need to step out of the pedal to balance the thing and hopefully not fall. And if you’re thinking of the real bike thing, the bike that I used to practice with was the one that 6 years old or even younger know how to use yet (hahaha!). I’m really afraid to fall off the bike. That’s why it got me this long to learn how to.

Other thing than learning how to ride a bike, I was still in the process of getting used to with my job and learning new things, which includes not just about technical stuffs but also about all the things under the sun. I received my ever first salary, from a serious job (because I did private tutorials before), and I just don’t wanna talk. But what should I expect, just gotta look at the brighter side and if you can’t see one, look for it harder. Well, as much as I want to buy my mom a Red Ribbon cake for her 50^th birthday, I’m short of budget but I still managed to buy her a cake. As what my aunt said, “First time tam ah!”. And I was glad that they’d still appreciate my little contribution.

Aside from the AH1N1 mania, I’m busy waiting for the upcoming movies! UP, Harry Potter6 and Transformers (Revenge of the Fallen). And finally, yesterday, I got to watch Transformers. It was really hair rising, not because it was scary, but because it was so amazing. The computer graphic effects are just a ‘suntok sa buwan’ thing that I hoped I could create too. The story of the ‘fallen’ and that autobots or deceptecons (I’m not sure how it’s spelled) has long been here on earth living together with the human species. Megan Fox was really beautiful, and here I was fooled that she was really a transgender but got out off it, and Sam’s mom was really funny(haha!). Wholly, it was really entertaining just like the previous one, just more intense and really action packed and elevated cool effects.

And lastly, that I could write on this entry is about the King of Pop. I grew up adoring him, and I bet we’re all shocked hearing the news of his death. All I could say is that nothing could replace him as the only King of Pop that has really shook the world of his talent and I’m just sad that he has to die with all those intrigues he has gone through that made him a very very looked upon icon to a bad one.

my JOB

It has already been 5 days of work and the experience is still coming. I have mixed feelings about my job, my 1st job, and try to weigh the feelings I have properly to be able to arrive to a best decision. It's fun, tiring, nerve racking and educational. It is fun meeting new people in a new environment and you get to realize that you wont' have a hard time anyway to adjust since they are all so nice. My job is a veryb tiring one, and the only thing you can recover and not drag yourself to misery is to always have fun and be happy with what you have. The first time we did calls is totally scary for me. Everytime I'm going to log in to the phone to start receiving calls, it's as if I'm gonna vomit my heart out in a second. I was REALLY nervous. I dont' know what kind of call will I recieve or what kind of client will be assigned to me that's why I always pray that it must be a ghost call.(hehe). One of my calls that I can't forget is that I had an irate client and he called me 'retarded'. My gosh, that day really started perfectly. Anyway, I got to handle more calls, and I get to realized many things. You can't be really good at something unless you experience it yourself.

As a newbie, I am so pressured knowing that I still had more to learn after being a pro and I hope that I'd be able to master the things in no time. Actually, I think of my job right now as if I'm still going to school and learning new stuffs. It is true that the pay also drives you to go on with your job, but there are also lot if things aside from moey to make you love your work. I now feel that good feeling when you get to reap what you sow. I was happy that Id' get to receive my reward after the training and it was the biggest amount of money that was really my own and that I worked hard for it. Right now, I'm trying my best to perform good or even best and hopefully at the future, reach the goal that I had in mind.

Bloopers

It got me quite a longer time to have a new post for my blog, although I was online more than once the past few days, because I can’t really think of interesting to write down that has happened to me or whatever that would just popped out in my mind. Well, I’ve been busy the previous weeks continuing with my training basically. And that days including these week was totally a critical one primarily because we are near the end of the training period and judgment day is coming. So the thing that has been bugging me as well as my co-trainees is the word, PRESSURE! I was always nervous and agonizing each day knowing that there is so limited time and you’re still not that confident if you would be able to make it. Because of that too much pressure, it still remained in my sleep. One night, I was partly asleep and I was like texting while asleep and I typed in “ping router” instead of typing in the right reply. Good thing I didn’t send it because I have really fallen asleep and I just realized next day when I saw what I typed in my CP’s drafts. I was just laughing about it and that’s what really happens if you are so preoccupied over a thing. So was one of the terms we use in the training and it is somehow unavoidable to take it out of your system that easy specially when you’re always thinking about it to make yourself master the things that we should learn. Although I was amazed of myself because I was still able to spell it correctly although I was half asleep while typing it, I was totally unconscious of what I’n doing at that time. Just a while ago, when I bought pancit canton at a store near our house, I said, “Pancit canton daw, wirele…chilimansi flavor”, good thing the ‘tindera’ didn’t hear it and I was quick to say the ‘chilimansi’ word after almost saying ‘wireless’. I was not alone experiencing the same thing because one of my co-trainee was drunk and she texted “Happy mother’s day..ipconfig” to one of our co-trainee who’s already a mother and she really sent it.

We already had our two (2) ‘practical exams’ and although it was not perfect, I think it was just fine because I could still come for our last day, because we would be basically eliminated and not finish the days of training if we failed the 2^nd exam. I had another ‘stupid act’ while having our 2^nd call simulation and what makes it more stupid is that I didn’t realize I said the wrong sentence. During the call, my monitor suddenly went black or it turned idle and out of panic, I asked the pretending-as-the-customer/trainer, “is it ok if I hold you?” instead of “Is it okay if I put you on hold?” so that I could fix the monitor before proceeding with the call. I was shocked when he replied, “You want to hold me?!” like in a louder tone and I even said “Yes sir, because my monitor turned off or went idle.” It was just the next day when my trainer assessed me about the call that I realized what I said the other day was totally embarrassing and how it made me sound like a pervert. I was really embarrassed in our class when they heard about it and I can’t even look straight to my trainer. The assessment part was really fun because we get to know our bloopers and just laugh about it. Well, I really hope I could really pull this off and get hired.

To be liberated or not to be...

Less a month has passed and it was a total dread. I kept asking when and how all of these would actually end and how am I supposed to handle all of these craps until I'm finally relieved. I have been liberated for that long already and the reasons behind are not really closed yet. It means that I am agonizing the time when I would be able to make it really 'close'. A closure is what badly I need, as well as clarity and acceptance. Everything has just been so unfair and I really couldn't fathom no matter how I dig deep within my brain why I had to be in this situation knowing that I just did my part well and got a bunch of trash for an exchange. So hopeless..

Back to Ala

Thankful that tech-training will resume next week, I could go to Ala (Isulan, Sultan Kudarat) FINALLY. It is where my mom spent her childhood and it is also where the rest of her family resides. I haven’t been back there for 4 years already and the last time I was there was when my uncle, my mother’s brother, died because of high blood attack and after that a lot of reasons kept me from going there mostly because of school stuff reasons. Every time my mom would go home there, she’ll be bring me back messages from my uncles and aunts that I’d be really dead if I wouldn’t go there anymore. And now that I had the chance, I totally grabbed it.
We left at dawn and I still sleepy. We just rode a van in Matina terminal and arrived at around 8 am already. The temperature’s really really hot I could say. I can’t tell the difference here in Davao but it was really more searing in there. As we got out of the jeepney, my cousins welcomed us with a warm greeting. Boy I was really absent there for quite a time, I noticed many changes and my cousins are already grown up compared to the last time I saw them. The reason why we went home is because it’s my uncle Dodong’s birthday (the one who died 4 years ago) and fiesta. The karaoke machine starts to get really loud and I was waiting for my cousins who just live in Davao too to arrive.
There were many people and also food was abundant. I got to eat-all-I-can because my aunt has a store and they sell halo-halo and batchoy and since it’s not always everyday that I get to eat their ‘tinda’, I can just eat for free (haha). Although the temperature’s scorching hot, it was still fun and that fun would have compounded if our trip to the hot spring happened. Unfortunately it was cancelled because the night before, it rained really hard and expectedly the road to the hot spring is already accident prone.
I was really happy that I get to return there after all these years and though I have been absent for that long, I didn’t feel any unwelcome aura from them and it seems though that I was not able to go there for only just a day, nothing really beats family.